Decision-making is one of the most challenging things we encounter in our lives! Decision-making is a complex cognitive process involving the selection of a course of action among several alternatives. Every decision-making process produces a final choice, which may or may not prompt action. It is a critical skill in personal development, as it affects nearly every aspect of life, from the personal to the professional. As leaders, creating #leadershipsynergy requires a lot of individual and group decisions.
Research on decision-making spans various disciplines, including psychology, economics, and neuroscience. One foundational theory in the psychology of decision-making is the dual-process theory, which suggests that there are two systems at work when we make decisions: System 1, which is fast, automatic, and emotional, and System 2, which is slower, more deliberate, and more logical (Kahneman, 2011). This theory, proposed by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, highlights the interplay between intuition and rational analysis in decision-making.
Another important concept in decision-making is the notion of bounded rationality, introduced by Herbert A. Simon. Simon argued that human decision-making is only sometimes perfectly rational due to limitations in information, cognitive capacity, and time (Simon, 1955). Instead, individuals use heuristics or simple rules of thumb to make decisions, which can sometimes lead to biases or errors in judgment.
The biases and uncertainty are where our religion makes us complete. As Muslims, we always have the choice to go to our creator, Almighty Allah, to guide us in our path. We trust (Tawakkul) Allah and do activities as role-modelled by Prophet Mohamed SAW. Placing our trust in Allah encompasses believing in His Omnipotence and a profound confidence in His Wisdom. We trust Allah's Power and Knowledge that everything happens for good. Part of that relationship of trust with Allah is that we want Allah to give us the best, even if that contradicts what we desperately need.
To understand what Allah's Omnipotence is, let us look at the fascinating life of the bee. Allah says: "And your Lord taught the bee to build its cells in hills, on trees, and in men's habitation; then to eat of all the produce of the earth, and follow the way of your Lord made smooth: There issues from within their bodies a drink of varying colours, wherein is healing for men: Verily in this is a sign for those who give thought," (Al-Nahl, 16:68-69). Additionally, look at another creature, the bird. Allah says, "Do they not observe the birds above them, spreading their wings and folding them in? None can uphold them except the Most Gracious: Truly it is He that watches over all things" (Al-Mulk 67:19).
If you have not observed the bee and the bird in action, I invite you to click the link. While you imagine the activities of the two creatures of Allah, the bee and bird, and admire the Omnipotence and Benevolence of Allah, let us reflect on Trust (Tawakkul). Allah says, "Say, 'He is the Most Beneficent (Allah), in Him we believe, and in Him, we put our trust," (Al-Mulk, 67:29). Allah also says: "And put your trust in Allah, and sufficient is Allah as a Trustee (Disposer of Affairs)" (Al-Ahzab, 33:3).
We have established why we trust Allah and believe in his Omnipotence. Let us return to the topic of decision-making and its biases and uncertainty. Sometimes, we are very clear about our desires. When opportunities start knocking at our doorstep, we begin taking action without asking for Allah's guidance (system 1, by Kahneman). Other times, we take action after logical thinking and reasoning and with careful consideration (system 2, by Kahneman). But we might wonder whether the opened door will lead to the best of this world and hereafter. Often, we wait to find out whether we are making the right decisions and lose opportunities due to delays in execution (reflecting on Simon)
Our Prophet, Mohamed SAW, taught us a robust strategy and a Du'a that helps us to succeed every time (Suleiman, 2024). Dr Omer Suleiman taught us the Du'a and strategy; the following are from his classes. Jaabir ibn Abdullah RA was a young man who struggled immensely in the time of the Prophet SAW. His father was killed in the battle of Uhud, and Jaabir ibn Abdullah RA was left with a whole bunch of debt and seven sisters to take care of. He narrated this hadith about the most famous decision-making Du'a in Islam, which is known as Du'a-ul Istikharah. He said, 'The Prophet SAW used to teach us to make Istikhara with all of our affairs in the same way he would teach us the Quran. Just like the Quran has guidance in all matters of life, and you keep reciting the Quran repeatedly in precise wordings as the Quran was sent, and that is how you resort to Salatul Isthikhara.'
Imam Shafi'i Rahimullah said, 'What is implied here is that you do not change any of the words of this Du'a. You do not add to it or take away from it. You say it exactly as the Prophet SAW taught it in the same way you recite the Quran. He says that clearly, there is a blessing in the specific wording that the Prophet SAW taught in Du'a-ul Istikharah.' Imam ibn Battah Rahimullah says the other implied meaning is that it is not befitting for the believer to rush into any matter, minor or major, before they first seek Allah's guidance. Saalathul Istikharah is "not just for some major decision" in your life, such as before marriage or trying to get into a particular program. It is for "every single element of your life." And that is the relationship of dependence that we must have upon Allah SWT.
Du'a-ul Isthikhara was so vital to the companions of the Prophet SAW. Jabir RA said something deeply profound,
- "The Prophet SAW is showing us that the relationship of Istikharah to the affairs of our lives is like the relationship of Quran to Salah; the relationship of the recitation of the Quran to every prayer.
- So basically, life without reciting Istikharah is like Salah without the recitation of the Quran.
What is Istikharah?
Part of our dependence upon Allah SWT is giving the process to Him and trusting the outcome to Him. And so Istikharah is actually asking Allah SWT to guide us to the right path after we have done everything in our power and capacity to find the right way.
The strategy taught to the companions by Prophet SAW was:
- First, you exert your efforts and thinking to see if this is good for you, your Deen, and your Dunya. (System 2, Kahneman)
- Secondly, you consult righteous people. You seek coaching and mentoring, seeking people's advice to see if this is best for you (the power of #nourishedmindset)
- And then you go to Allah SWT after your own deduction and that righteous consultation, and you say, "Oh, Allah, facilitate it for me if it's good for me and take it away from me if it is bad for me."
It shows that after you've done your homework and covered two other bases of decision-making, you come to Allah SWT for the final blessing. The scholars mentioned that you should seek consultation before you do Istikharah because even when Allah addresses the Prophet SAW, he says to seek their consultation, and then once you come to a decision, put your trust in Allah SWT. Imam ibn Taymiyya Rahimullah says no one regrets the Istisharah of the creation, seeking consultation on the creation, and Istikharah is seeking guidance from the creator.
How do you pray, Salathul Isthikhara?
The Sahaba would do this a lot, although most of us probably would do it three to four times in our entire life. Imagine how much more clarity you'll have in life, and think about how blessed your decision-making and decree will be if you do Salathul Isthikhara daily. The Prophet SAW said
- First, you pray two rak'ahs. These can be any two rak'ahs that are not fardh. It could be your sunnah prayer, or it could be entering upon the masjid. Some scholars said combining it with some of the blessed times is especially important.
- For example,
- You could do it at Salat Duha. As you make an intention for Salat Duha, make the intention for Istikharah as well and then read the Du'a afterwards.
- Or make this a daily habit with your Fajr salah. As you perform the Sunnah, two rak'ahs before Fajr, intend to perform Isththikara as well and read the D'ua afterwards.
After the salam, you make the following Du'a.
Du’a-ul- Istikharah
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ-- خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ
O Allah, I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, and I do not. You know, and I know not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter [mention the thing to be decided] is good for me in my religion, my livelihood, my worldly affairs, and in the Hereafter, then decree it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion, my livelihood, my worldly affairs, and in the Hereafter, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree for me the good wherever it may be and make me content with it. [Sahih al-Bukhari 6382]
Here is a Dhiveh version of the Du'a for easier connection.
Explanation of parts of the Du'a
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ ِ
O Allah, I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, and I do not. You know, and I know not, and You are the Knower of the unseen.
Oh Allah, I seek your guidance in making a choice by virtue of your knowledge.
- So, first and foremost, you're asking Allah SWT by virtue of recognizing that Allah knows what you do not know. I don't understand the full consequences of my decision, so I've covered my basis. But oh Allah, I'm looking to you for your 'Ilm, for your knowledge, and I ask you by your great bounty, and that is the recognition that everything that Allah SWT gives to us is from his grace; it's from his Fadhl. And so I'm asking you from your great bounty. And you have power, and I have none.
- SubhanAllah, even if I know what's good for me, I can't pursue anything without your ability, Oh Allah! So, I recognise your knowledge, grace, and power to achieve what I cannot achieve on my own.
- And SubhanAllah here, you say, "For verily, you know, and I do not know. You are the Knower of Al-Ghuyub, the unseen things.
Why is this so profound? Because you've done your homework on the seen things, but there are certain elements of even the seen things that you can't see. So, you are saying, Oh, Allah, you know everything that I don't know about the hidden realities of this decision. And that's Tawakkul, that's trust in Allah SWT because things can check out a hundred per cent through the first three bases. But here you say, Oh Allah, you are Allamul-Ghuyub, the Knower of all hidden things.
And then you say,
ِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ
O Allah, if You know that this matter [mention the thing to be decided] is good for me in my religion, livelihood, worldly affairs, and in the Hereafter, then decree it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me.
Oh Allah, if in your knowledge, this matter is good for me, first and foremost, in my religion, grant it to me. My religion is the most important thing in the world to me. So, I want things that will impact my religion positively. Suppose it's going to affect my religion negatively. In that case, I definitely don't want it, even if it's good for me regarding my worldly affairs. Secondly, on my livelihood and thirdly, on the final outcome of my affair, which is the hereafter. Oh Allah, if you know this is good for me in my deen, livelihood, and final outcome, then ordain three things for me.
- First, you ask Allah SWT for the Qadr of it: which is the decision, so ordain it for me.
- Secondly, for the Yusr of it: the process, make it easy for me.
- Thirdly, the Barakah of it: the outcome, so bless me with a great outcome that enhances me in the world and hereafter.
But here's the harder part of the Istikharah. You turn to Allah SWT and say,
وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ
And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion, my livelihood, my worldly affairs, and in the Hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree for me the good wherever it may be and make me content with it.
In your knowledge, Oh Allah, you know that this is going to be bad for me and my religion or bad for me in my livelihood or wrong for me when it's all said and done, then don't decree it for me.
- Take it away from me, and,
- Turn me away from it, which means do not let my heart become attached to it.
You're not just asking Allah to turn it away from you. You're asking Allah to turn you away from it. Why? Because if your heart remains attached to that thing, then you're not going to have peace of mind. You'll keep saying, "Maybe there's still a chance, maybe there's still a chance, maybe there's still a chance." or "Maybe all the signs are unclear, right? "
Instead, you're saying, Oh Allah, take it away from me, and take me away from it. And then ordain for me good, wherever it may be, which also shows I don't know where the next blessed thing is. I don't know where the good actually is going to be. How often did we think that all of the doors were shut, only to find a door that we didn't even know existed open for us? And have what was better for us all along!
And finally,
َّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ
and make me content with it.
Here you are saying make me pleased with it, Oh Allah! Because Allah might facilitate what's better for you, but you are not pleased with it. So, you are closing by saying, Oh Allah, whatever you facilitated, make me grateful for it. You ask Allah to be pleased after the decree with something specific,
- Oh Allah, as much as I want it, if you know it's going to impact me negatively,
- Especially in regards to my deen and my akhirah, take it away from me,
- Oh Allah, and then let me be pleased with that outcome. Let my heart also have no connection to that anymore.
Some of the righteous companions have spoken about this: they wanted something or someone so badly, and then it was as if Allah turned their hearts away from it, which could be a direct result of this Du'a.
What is not Istikharah?
Dr Omer Suleiman says Istikharah is not a magic pill. It's not something that suddenly clears the fog, gives you all sorts of clarity, and opens the pathways for you. He said, "It's not a dream, which is hard for people to come to terms with. If you're trying to get married to someone, you pray Istikharah, and you see them in a dream; it's probably because you really want to marry that person, not because of the Istikharah."
Istikharah is not necessarily connected to your dreams. Instead, it is a Du'a for guidance, not something that shows up. There are no colours that you see at night that indicate yes or no. There is no such thing as an Istikharah fairy. Dr Suleiman further says, 'Yes, I've heard, in some cultures where you put yes and no under your pillow and make Du'a, and then you pick one of the pieces of paper and see which one it shows up as. That's just our desire always to get the direct answer that we are seeking from Allah SWT."
How many times do I do Isthikhara?
Now, you might wonder how often I have to do Isthikhara. At what point do I decide that Allah has closed this door for me? Dr Omer Suleiman says that the answer is there is no limit to how many times you do Istikharah. The strategy is once you follow the process and you see no progress, again go back to your other decision-making mechanisms:
- Try to reflect on the matter rationally.
- Approach that group of people or someone you trust to help you see things clearly.
- Decide at that point. You have asked Allah SWT for a good outcome. And at that point, you made the best decision. If the door seems to be closed to you, say Alhamdulillah regardless. It may be that Allah SWT will open the doors for you later; even that same door might open later.
- Believe that in the meantime, something good is coming along the way. Trust that Allah SWT has something more significant for you. And the fact that He allows you to make this Du'a is one of the most beautiful signs that He has something good in store for you.
Abu Bakr Ibn' Ayyash Rahimullah said that some of the wise people of the past said that whoever is given four things will not be deprived of four things.
- Whoever is given the blessing of gratitude will not be deprived of the increase.
- Whoever is given the ability to repent will not be deprived of acceptance.
- Whoever is given the blessing of Istikharah will not be prevented from guidance.
- And whoever is given advice is not going to be deprived of correctness.
SubhanAllah, this is such a beautiful Du'a. And even if you say it a million times, if you ponder on every word, you'll see the blessing of it. Since the day I learned this narration, I have tried my best to stick to it daily. My strategy is that once I make the decision, I keep asking for it daily. As the journey progresses, I thank Allah for the daily milestones, and I firmly believe that Allah will show me how to tackle the challenges I encounter. I rely on Allah's guidance every step of the way. Al'Hamdulillah! May Allah Subhanahu Ta'ala grant us goodness and correctness in all of our affairs. Ameen.
References:
- Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, fast and slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
- Simon, H. A. (1955). A behavioral model of rational choice. The Quarterly Journal of Economics, 69(1), 99-118.
- Suleiman, O. (2024). How to Truly Perform Istikhara,| A Du'a Away Ep. 2 [Recorded by Yageen Institute].
