Slow down for a moment and reflect on life. What's the biggest block or hindrance you have had on your success? For me, it's ME. What is yours? At 29, I realized I had wasted three decades living in my own head. I lived based on all the perceptions or beliefs I had instilled as a child.
I was blaming my elder sister and my parents for their strictness in raising me. Because of their approach, I hated them and fled from home the minute I got the chance with a bold statement, "I will never live in this house anymore."
A home where I should feel as my safe harbour was the perceived hell for me. At the age of 20, I got married because I wanted to escape from going back to my home. I knew he was not the right person because he had lied to me for five months, and the reality was before my eyes. I was experiencing roughness whenever he got upset. However, I expected things to unfold in my favour, so I boldly decided to live with him.
As everyone predicted, it was hell for me. I then blamed my destiny. I thought it was my destiny to always live in fear, pain, betrayal and being physically abused. Again, expecting things to unfold in my favour, I decided to have children. Heartbreak, more pain, being chained, and no escape route were the result. The constant pain and heartbreaks were life's way of slapping me so that I could wake up.
One fine day in 2008, I came across the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, which shook me to the core and opened my eyes to the bitter reality. Instead of blaming, take 100% responsibility. He boldly said you are the person giving you pain and discomfort. It took me days to digest this fact.
The newly formed paradigm towards life helped me fearlessly decide to leave the relationship and move on. The aftermath was way more hazardous than past pain, but the moment I decided to move out of my own head and take responsibility, I was mentally at peace.
Challenges and painful situations are inevitable realities of life. Allah is Al Wadood, the most loving. With all the love and mercy, He declared that men must struggle. At challenging times, you must utilize your mind's power. The first step is realizing that you are the person who is blocking all your success and peace of mind. You must get out of your way and show yourself the path to success. You have to ignite and light up the candle of your life.
We have certainly create men into hardship ~ Quran 90:4
With over two decades of experience living in turmoil and blaming everyone else, my mission today is to help you ignite the light in your candle. To help you step out of your way and start living in your IDENTITY 2.0
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